James M Kelley
Sitting here at your bedside, your body barely holding on to it's last thread of life, I can't help but think back to all of the times you told me that I didn't love you. I think about all of times I made you cry, all the times I couldn't control my temper. My heart is filled with so much regret. I should have loved harder and tried harder and now your time is up and I'm out of chances to be the husband you deserve.
Everyone tells me how great I've been through all of this, and how great I was for you but I know, I could have been better. I'm so sorry that life for you on this earth was filled with so much pain. I can only hope that maybe my presence in it made it a little more bearable.
You shouldn't worry about our kids, they're going to be ok. The pain of losing you cuts them deep but we've prepared them as best as we could. They're going to live with your parents. Again, don't worry, I have no intention of being the second man to walk out on them. I'll visit often and attend school functions. I'll be there for basketball games and graduations, weddings and eventually the birth of our Grand Babies. The girls are going to miss you so much. You were always such a better motherly figure for them, and I can only hope they've absorbed as much of you as they could.
As for me, I'm going to push through this life knowing that the best part of it was taken too soon. I'll be ok, damaged but living on because that's the only option left. You are my world Rosanne. You found me broken and helped to pick up the pieces. You stopped me on my downward spiral and showed me a life that I may not have ever known. It was a struggle some times, but you were the rock that kept us anchored. And now, as life starts to spin out of control all over again, I find myself clinging to our families to keep me steadfast.
Your parents and sisters are amazing people and although they're broken and hurting now as well, we're all going to get through this together. So go, dance in the clouds and ride the winds. Go see all of those places I'll never be able to take you. Just be back in time to meet me at the pearly gates when my time has come.
I love you, and I'll miss you so much.
Until we meet again the other side.
I love you MUCHO MUCHO
James M Kelley
